Frequently Asked Questions about Relationship Counselling
april 7, 2026 • Written by Kelsey robson, RCC
Relationship counseling is a space to bring whatever is present and explore it with care and support.
How do I know if relationship counselling is right for us?
The simple answer is: almost every relationship can benefit from relationship counseling. You don’t need to be in crisis or dealing with a “big” issue to come to therapy. If you find yourself thinking “something could be better” or “I keep feeling frustrated about this same thing with my partner,” you’re very welcome here. And if the issues feel heavier or more complex, you’re welcome here too. Relationship counseling is a space to bring whatever is present and explore it with care and support.
Do we need to be “on the brink” to come to therapy?
Absolutely not. While you are welcome if things feel close to breaking, relationship therapy is just as valuable when things are generally okay but could feel more connected, intimate, or easeful. Relationships need tending, just like any other important part of our lives.
Even couples who communicate well often fall into familiar roles - one person leading the conversation, the other following - which can make it hard for both partners to feel fully heard and seen. There are also patterns and blind spots that are nearly impossible to notice from inside the relationship. Having a third party in the room can help gently illuminate these patterns and open up new ways of relating.
What kinds of relationship issues do you work with most?
Some of the most common areas I support couples with include:
Navigating conflict and communication more effectively and kindly
Learning how to better hold one another during moments of stress or emotional difficulty
One partner experiencing dissatisfaction, resentment, or disconnection with the other
Challenges around sex, intimacy, or desire
Wanting to shift long-standing relationship roles or patterns
Working with past experiences or trauma that surfaces within the relationship, and creating a safer container for healing together
And sometimes, simply bringing more joy, connection, and playfulness back into the relationship
What if one partner is more motivated than the other?
This is very common, and it’s completely okay. Often one person feels the urgency more strongly or initiates reaching out for support. That said, both partners do need to be willing to show up, participate actively in sessions, and engage with the work outside of therapy.
Part of our early work together can also include exploring what’s underneath any hesitation or resistance to relationship counseling - because there’s almost always a reason for it. I often suggest giving therapy a try for a handful of sessions before deciding whether it’s a fit. Sometimes the less motivated partner simply needs to experience the process to see its potential benefit.
Can we come even if we’re not sure we want to stay together?
Yes - please do. While staying together is often the hope, it’s not always the starting point. For couples in this position, therapy can sometimes become a space to explore clarity, values, and next steps with honesty and care.
If a relationship does come to an end, therapy can help support that process in a way that prioritizes respect, kindness, and mutual understanding. I will never tell you what to do or whether to stay or go, but I can offer reflections, perspectives, and gentle guidance to help you make the decision that feels most aligned for you.
Do you work with emotions, communication skills, or both?
Both. I weave together emotional processing and practical tools. We’ll work with the underlying emotions that drive conflict and disconnection - often in real time during sessions - so you can build capacity to stay present with yourselves and each other.
Alongside this, I’ll offer tangible tools, practices, and suggestions that we can experiment with together in session and then bring into your everyday life.
How long does relationship therapy usually take?
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. For some couples, a few sessions may be enough to work through a specific area of tension. For others, therapy becomes an ongoing relationship - a place to return during challenging seasons or transitions over time.
Typically, we begin with one session together with both of you. I then meet individually with each partner once, and after that we dive more deeply into the relational work together. From there, the length and pace of therapy is something we continually assess and shape collaboratively.
What if our sessions get heated or emotional? Or one of us shuts down during conflict?
Holding the container is part of my role. My job is to help create a space where both of you can be heard, supported, and grounded. Emotions are welcome here. If things start to feel heated, we’ll pause, slow down, and use grounding and regulation tools to help reconnect.
If one partner tends to shut down, we’ll work intentionally to create the safety and pacing needed for that person to stay engaged. The more we can gently work with the patterns that show up in your relationship within the therapy room, the more capacity you’ll have to navigate them outside of it.
Do you work with queer, non-monogamous, or non-traditional relationships?
Yes. This is one of the reasons we use the language relationship counseling rather than the more traditional couples counseling, which can carry assumptions about heterosexual, cis-gendered relationships.
You are welcome here to explore and support your close relationships in whatever form they take.
How do we begin?
Book a free meet and greet session with me, or a first full session, on my booking page here.
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Disclaimer: Information can be empowering, but we all have unique health profiles and needs. Health-related information contained in this article is intended to be general in nature and should not be taken as medical advice nor should it be used as a substitute for a visit with a licensed health care provider.